Well, we’d taken KOTM down for a while because we couldn’t keep up with the sheer number of Knuckleheads and the fact that we were trying to present a more positive vibe and we felt like maybe some folks didn’t quite understand the humorous nature of these posts (Don’t ya just love run-on sentences). After what Lola here pulled, we felt the need to address the level of sheer nuttiness that we encounter and why we would rather people who agree with her stance just go ahead and pass Lighthouse Tattoo right on by.

Ahem, on our consent/release forms we include a section that asks people to agree not to leave negative reviews on social media about us. We do that because we want people to address any issues they may have with us instead of passive-aggressively attacking us on the INTERNET. In short, if you don’t feel like you could legitimately leave us a 5-star review, we’d like to know why. IF, after addressing the issue, you don’t find satisfaction, we’d rather you simply didn’t come back. Trying to hurt our business with a negative review is sorta shitty and we don’t take kindly to it. As a matter of fact, we tell anyone who leaves us less than a 5 star review that we’d rather they just go someplace else. Why? Because we do our best, everyday, to make sure people leave here happy. If there’s a hiccup in service we take care of it immediately. If that doesn’t work for you, you’re probably completely fucked off, like little Miss Lola here.

What’s Lola’s fucking problem? Well, that we even asked.

She came in with her guy to get a piercing and once she saw that part of the release form she decided to leave without getting the piercing and leave us a 1-star review for the trouble. Lola, people like you are the ENTIRE fucking reason we have that on our paperwork. WOW. Mind you, she didn’t even ask why, she just jumped to her own conclusions, called the section ‘peculiar’ and said we should just offer a positive customer experience instead of having that in the paperwork. Well, Lola, we DO offer a very positive customer experience, it’s just that not everyone who enters Lighthouse Tattoo is a viable customer, as you and you’re shit attitude toward service providers would indicate. Holy shit this is like a Mobius Strip of fucked up: We ask you not to do something shitty to us that people tend to do from time to time because their mental health isn’t where it should be and that pisses said person off, so they do the EXACT thing that we ask them not to do BECAUSE we asked them not to!

Maybe it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy

Or maybe it’s doing it’s job of preventing fuckfaces like Miss Lola here from actually getting a service from us, THEN deciding to start shit on the INTERNET. Mission Accomplished, bullet successfully dodged. WHEW!

Now hear this: If you think that it’s weird to ask people to not be publicly shitty to a business on the internet without at least trying to address an issue first is wrong or a problem for you in any way, Lighthouse Tattoo is not for you. As a matter of fact, we’re absolutely fucking sick of people like that and are (successfully) trying to weed those motherfuckers out DAILY.

She didn’t even ask what that part of the paperwork was for, or why we felt the need to include it. Well, now you fucking know Lola.