At Lighthouse Tattoo we take an $80 or $100 non-refundable deposit that is deducted from the overall price of the tattoo in order to schedule an appointment. It’s a simple concept, really: If your tattoo is going to cost $400, say, you pay the $80 deposit to set the appointment and you pay the rest of the cost when you come in and get the tattoo. The deposit isn’t so someone will get the tattoo, tattoos are permanent and we realize that all but a few really, really stupid people know this, so we expect that if you take the time to set an appointment you will still want the tattoo once the time to get it comes around; it’s so they will provide us with appropriate amount of notice if they’re going to be late or need to reschedule.

I know this part is boring, but it’s important, so bear with me.

Since we first opened we’ve told everyone about the deposit policy. People would agree to it when setting up their appointment, then leave us a 1-star review on Google or Yelp or some other fanciful piece of technology where people congregate virtually to bitch about whatever when they violated said policy but expected there would be a special exception just for them. Some would call this wishful thinking, some would call it narcissism, either way it’s a pain in the ass for us; a group of people just trying to make a living by selling our time. It got so bad we had to put it in writing, so now everyone signs a deposit slip with the policy on it stating that they know they policy and agree to abide by it. They don’t though. It’s awesome.

We’re not the only ones who do this you know. Tons of tattoo shops the world over require a deposit to schedule an appointment. Hell, tons of businesses who have to schedule work take deposits to varying degrees or another and many of those are either partially or fully nonrefundable. From doctor’s offices to cruise lines, if the service is in demand and must be scheduled to the exclusion of others you can rest assured that business has tried to figure out a way to keep their time from being wasted, which is all we’re trying to do with our deposit policy.

We ask for 48-hour notice to reschedule. We realize for a lot of instances that’s just not possible. Kids get sick, people get called into work, cars break down. When we keep the deposit in these instances, it’s not to stick it to anyone, it’s so we don’t have to be angry with the client who couldn’t help their situation. It’s essentially a form of prescribed apology for the inconvenience; the wasted time; and the lost money. We’re not unreasonable, we don’t expect people to pay in full for the missed appointment, just that they willingly forfeit the money they left as a deposit as agreed upon in case they are unable to give us sufficient notice. It’s not an ideal situation, but then again, when is having to late-cancel any appointment ideal? It’s the best solution we could come up with for both sides: The client doesn’t have to pay for the lost time in full and the artist isn’t left completely empty-handed. A little bit of compromise from both sides leads to a more agreeable outcome and we can continue to do business without animosity.

I know, still boring, but it will get better. Promise.

Now, why couldn’t we just make a few exceptions, let a few people slide? Why couldn’t we just shim things a little to keep our best customers happy? Well, we do. We do tons. But strangely, most of the time, our ‘best clients’ NEVER ACTUALLY HAVE TO RESCHEDULE OR CANCEL THEIR APPOINTMENTS AND WHEN THEY DO THEY DON’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH FORFEITING A DEPOSIT. No Bull. The reason we don’t make MORE exceptions is because most of the people that are asking for an exception to be made can’t provide a good reason for getting one, they just don’t want to lose the money. Understandable, but it completely misses the point and it’s not what we agreed upon.

So here’s where it gets good:

I don’t use the word Motherfucker lightly, I don’t. As a matter of fact, I capitalize it. Motherfucker. I personally consider it ‘fighting words’. If you call me that, my mind immediately turns to fisticuffs. If I call someone else that, then I fully expect to come to blows with that person as a consequence of my word choice. So please, please understand that I don’t mean this lightly when I say that THESE MOTHERFUCKERS drive me crazy when they agree to the policy, get good service, become loyal customers, know the policy, see the people it affects, violate the policy, expect special treatment because of the relationship instead of just doing the right thing, then take their business elsewhere all because we didn’t want to lose hundreds of dollars PLUS THE 80 THEY ALREADY LEFT!!! These hypocrites treat us like garbage, costing us hundreds of dollars every time they do this and want us to do them a favor when they do? and if we don’t they traipse off into the sunset like we never mattered to them in the first place (which we didn’t) all to act like we’re the ones to blame.

(are they gonna name names?)

Oh yeah baby, we’re naming names. Like Beth, who first got tattooed by Will years ago when she and her delightful hubby James came into an old shop he used to work at to get James’ backpiece started. He wanted lions on his back because his last name brought the animals to mind and it was an homage to his family. Once Will finished the backpiece James gave him a $500 tip at a time when he sorely needed the money. It’s not too much to say that Will loved him for that. Will also started tattooing Beth, and even tattooed their son. The relationship was a good one, with Will doing his best to provide this family with his usual jaw-droppingly good work. Beth scheduled an appointment for October 23rd of 2021 and called to have it rescheduled to January 5th. She did so in plenty of time so it was rescheduled with no problems and her deposit was transferred to the new date. The problem arose when Beth sent us an email the day before her Jan. 5th appointment declaring it was her SEVENTH DAY WITH COVID, that she still had a rough cough and needed to reschedule again. This was considered last minute and honestly, she knew she was sick the day before that, she knew she had COVID-19 two days before her appointment and this selfish MOTHERFUCKER didn’t take the time to let us know so Will could find someone else to take the time slot. When we told her that she would need to leave another deposit in order to schedule another appointment she ghosted us. Radio silence. Not so much as a ‘Why?’. We tried to reach out to her via email and telephone after giving her plenty of time to recover in order to make sure she was okay and keep the ball rolling but she ignored us. Will wasn’t angry about the money he had lost (what’s funny is he tattooed Beth at a significant discount because of his love for James and what he’d done for Will so many years earlier), but he was sure pissed about being ignored over a $100 deposit. Beth can’t come back to Lighthouse Tattoo.

Ahem.

Now.

Well, now we know not everyone is going to be okay with this. In a world seemingly chock FULL of Karens and people rife with entitlement mentality, but we just can’t take it anymore. So from now on, Lighthouse Tattoo will be providing a list of names of the people who violate our deposit policy and betray us so egregiously that they find themselves banned from the shop. We do this as a public service, to let other know who can’t be trusted and to let those individuals know they’re being jackasses.

Now, to those who may be reading this who are actually on this list: You owe us an apology. You owe us that without receiving anything in return, but as a way of making up for your bad behavior. If you say you’re sorry we will consider taking your name off the list, maybe even letting you come back.

But let’s face it, you didn’t get on the list because you care about accountability or respecting others did you? We really don’t expect to be surprised here.

This is our livelihood. This is how we provide for our families. We aren’t playing around. Golden rule, treat us the way you want to be treated. Treat us like shit, get treated like shit. Treat us like family and you’ll get the same. Lighthouse Tattoo isn’t for everyone, we take a great deal of pride in that. Hope to see you real soon!