Knucklehead of the Month

In the tattoo business we get to meet a lot of characters. Not bad people mind you, but some interesting folks nonetheless. But some people take the cake and not in a good way. We call those people Knuckleheads. We had previously discontinued the Knucklehead of the Month award out of a desire to promote positivity, what we discovered was that we were only removing a positive public service by reminding people what real assholes look like. So, without further ado:

Joe got tattooed by Deuce back in August-ish. He swung back through for a touch-up in November and liked the finished product so much he scheduled to have another cover-up done in December. But Joe had some issues with his lady you see, and while she showed up for her appointment that they booked together, ol’ Joe no-call, no-showed. SMH. Well, with that sort of behavior comes the forfeiture of the deposit that was left to hold the spot, which is the entire reason we take deposits in the first place, some people just can’t be trusted and since it’s impossible to know who can and can’t be by looking at them, we take deposits from everyone. Just in case.

Here’s where it starts to get asshole-y: Two months after missing his appointment good ol’ Joe saw fit to leave us a negative review online talking about how we aren’t clear on our deposit policy and we’re unprofessional. First, everyone who books an appointment at Lighthouse Tattoo has to read and sign paperwork disclosing our entire deposit policy and how someone can lose that deposit (being a no-call, no-show is at the top of that list), and second, professionalism is a spectrum. This is a tattoo shop, not a mortuary.

  1. Since Joe wasn’t on time to his appointment, Deuce (his artist, try to keep up) called him twice with no answer or call back, and emailed him wondering if he was going to be able to make it. Good ol’ Joe didn’t respond. For that, Joe’s deposit gets paid entirely to Deuce to help offset the $120 he just lost because Joe didn’t show up. You try going to work and making $120 less than usual and see how you feel about it, it ain’t good.

  2. The lack of professionalism Joe is referring to is the fact that Deuce and Will, his fellow artist, had recently taken a motorcycle trip to Key West FL, got pretty smashed every night, and were reminiscing about their recent once-in-a-lifetime vacation together. The conversation at the time was light and entertaining, with Joe commenting about how cool such a trip was (and it was, we strongly recommend it). However, we would contend that this wasn’t unprofessional at all, it was just something to talk about to take our clients’ minds off the discomfort of getting tattooed. This same thing occurs in every tattoo shop everywhere all the time.

It should be clear by now that good ol’ Joe is only mad because he forgot to call us when he knew he wasn’t going to be able to show up for his appointment and is mad because he lost his deposit. Obviously, right?

Here’s the stupid thing: Joe says he missed his appointment because he got the ‘Rona. Well, that gets you an exception with regard to our normal deposit policy, so even if he forgot to let us know (due to getting really sick really quickly) we would have worked with him so he didn’t have to lose his deposit. It’s something that we’ve done on a monthly, if not weekly basis since May. It’s a damn pandemic people, we’re in this together.

The other stupid thing is that instead of contacting us and speaking with us directly, good ol’ Joe just decides to go online and try to hurt our business by publicly talking shit. Even though it’s been TWO MONTHS since he missed his appointment, we could have worked with him. Until, that is, he decides to publicly disparage our business. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me, y’know?

We have enclosed his recommendation as left on Facebook, as well as Will (posting as Crystal Roberts Wood, his wife’s account) and Deuce’s responses. Joe mentioned he is a member of the Iron Order, a group of guys who ride motorcycles together who have a reputation for not understanding how the world works and generally aren’t respected by other bikers, so Will mentions that as well, whilst referring to good ‘ol Joe as a pussy, which it’s Will’s personal belief that’s exactly what he is. A decent person would have called and let us know that they wouldn’t make it. A decent person would be fine with forfeiting a deposit if they forgot to contact us, in order to help cover the artist’s losses due to their own oversight. A decent person would have contacted a business directly in order to negotiate some sort of mutually beneficial deal to continue the relationship. But Joe did what a full grown pussy would do: He cried about it on the internet, all the while re-writing the narrative to absolve himself of any responsibility for his own actions.

That behavior is why he is permanently banned from Lighthouse Tattoo.

Way to go Joe. What a knucklehead.


A Word on Deposits

As tax refund season quickly approaches, we thought it may be helpful to paint a picture of our deposit system and how it operates.

At Lighthouse Tattoo we take deposits for all appointments, not only to insure that prospective clients are serious, but in the unfortunate case where rescheduling may be necessary it motivates the client to let us know as soon as possible. We reserve the right to keep a deposit for any reason if an appointment is rescheduled with less than 48 hours notice. Why is this time constraint necessary? Our artists reserve that appointment time to the exclusion of all other clients, we ask that anyone who needs to reschedule give us enough notice so that the artist can book someone into the vacated time slot. If this isn’t possible due to the circumstances, we expect that our clientele will understand the forfeited deposit goes to pay the artist at least a portion of what they would have made for doing the scheduled tattoo, allowing them to provide for their financial needs and responsibilities.

First-time clients who last-minute reschedule may be required to pay in full for their tattoo in order to reschedule. We do this in order to impress upon our clients the need for prompt communication and honestly, in order to provide for those individuals who are so poor at money management that this sort of thing is the only solution.

It’s at this point that we should mention that we personally feel that the current deposit system is a courtesy, we would absolutely be justified to take a more substantial up-front deposit, say 50%, or even more, especially on larger-scale work like sleeves or backpieces.

Some general rules for those interested in scheduling an appointment at Lighthouse Tattoo:

1. Please don’t leave us a deposit unless you’re serious about getting a tattoo and financially responsible enough to follow through with it. We don’t offer refunds for any reason short of amputation of the body part to be tattooed or the death of the client. ‘We don’t want the tattoo anymore’ isn’t a good excuse. But it is hilarious.

2. Please let us know as soon as possible if you need to reschedule. Failure to do so could result in the forfeiture of your deposit. If we call to confirm your appointment and you tell us you aren’t going to be able to make it, you have waited too long. We do confirmation calls for our busiest artists in order to prevent the loss of revenue last-minute reschedules can cause. If we call and you don’t answer or respond to a voicemail, email, or call us back if you have a missed call from us (which is a lot of ways to keep in touch), you may lose your spot in line and your deposit.

3. If you forfeit your deposit, for any reason, and wish to ever be tattooed at Lighthouse Tattoo again: be nice. Keeping the deposit isn’t a punishment, it’s a means of providing partial compensation for an artist who would otherwise miss out entirely. It’s also a way to continue the relationship with the client.

4. For those people who feel the need to call and ask for your deposit back because you lost your job or need to pay your cell phone bill: Don’t. Just don’t. The answer is no. Simply put, if you don’t want us to have your money don’t give it to us. Additionally, we have heard every excuse imaginable for needing a deposit back. The answer is and always will be ‘no’, unless the client has recently suffered an amputation of the body part to be tattooed or has died. We have actually had both of those things happen at some point and we have refunded those deposits promptly, with our condolences.

5. If you can give us more than 48 hours notice, we will gladly reschedule your appointment at no additional cost. and as always, any deposit is deducted from the overall cost of the tattoo.

Celebrity Portrait Sweepstakes

This Saturday, purely for fun, our resident portrait artist Will is going to give away a portrait of one of these influential artists: Beyonce; Billie Eilish; Chadwick Boseman; Nicki Minaj; Cardi B; or Dwayne Johnson are up for grabs during this awesome opportunity! Kick off the new year right with a portrait of your favorite celebrity. Interested parties should submit a request form via the tab on this website, clearly stating which photo you would like, especially in the case of Billie Eilish or Nicki Minaj since there are two each of those being offered. Don’t delay and good luck!

Happy New Year!

Well, sort of anyway. What with all the uncertainty of anything but the certainty of violence surrounding the impending inauguration, we have entered a year with a pandemic that threatens not only our health but our very livelihoods! As a nation we have walked headfirst into a high infection rate, civil unrest due to economic and racial inequity, and systemic Johnny Depp abuse. It’s terrifying.

Since the world is going to hell in a handbasket anyway, why not treat yourself to a new tattoo or piercing? We’re all going to die by horrible asteroid strike sometime this year (at this rate), why not look good before the imminent apocalypse?

Worse yet, what if you survive? Don’t be the only post-apocalyptic denizen without the appropriate body modifications! It’d be mortifying!

So, before you do anything else (except maybe getting vaccinated) call Lighthouse Tattoo to set up your appointment at 615 784-4500; or visit the shop at 328 N. Cumberland St in Lebanon TN, just a block off the town square.

'Tis the Season!

In this season of giving, especially this year, Lighthouse Tattoo would like to remind everyone that we are all in this together. Because of the increased demand for support due to the pandemic and highly publicized instances of racial injustice, Lighthouse Tattoo has dug deep and donated over $10,000 to organizations such as the The Nashville Rescue Mission; The Boys and Girls Club; and the NAACP Legal Defense Fund, to name a few. This wouldn’t have been possible without the help of our faithful clientele and the good people who manage those organizations. With your help, we will continue to grow as a force for growth in our community. We know it’s difficult right now and we know it’s hard to find help for some people who don’t know where to look. So this year, we would ask that anyone who knows of a family in need, please submit their name and address, along with your contact information and we will do our best to help make this a memorable Christmas.

Jesus Christ

We would be remiss not to include some of the religion-inspired work performed at Lighthouse Tattoo, especially during the Christmas holiday season. Lighthouse Tattoo was so named for the instruction to ‘be a light unto the world’ as we have strived to offer a light of high quality art in an otherwise underserved area, bringing our love for the medium out of the big cities and into Lebanon, TN. We hold a special place in our hearts for religious iconography, not just for it’s sentimentality, but also it’s connection to the antiquity of the art world as a whole. We simply adore these pieces. If you are interested in honoring your love for the Lord with a tattoo, we would like to serve you. Lighthouse Tattoo is open seven days a week, from noon to 10pm. Call 615 784-4500or click on the ‘set an appointment’ tab on this website to schedule an appointment.

Davy Jones

Apologies for the photo quality, as this is a Work-In-Progress. Colton dearly loves the Pirates of the Caribbean film series starring Johnny Depp. This piece, a portrait of the tentacle-faced Davy Jones, is merely another addition to his PotC leg sleeve.

Mayan-themed Sidepiece

This bad boy is a doozy! getting tattooed all day long is a daunting enough task, but YOUR SIDE?!? ALL DAMN DAY?!? Somebody’s mind ain’t right.

In reality, Jose is an accomplished tattoo collector, as evidenced by the intense collection shown in this photo. His dedication to this artform is amazing to us, we love people like this. His discipline was second to none, even once it was obvious he was suffering significantly. This is as far as we got that day, but we hope to see Jose again real soon. Thanks buddy!

Hand Skull Over Knuckles

Jake’s a hardass. Don’t let his slim build fool you, at 6’7”, the dude’s huge. He also might be a complete nut, ‘cuz he got this Skull tattooed on his hand and asked for it to come down over his knuckles like this, OUCH! We’ll post healed pics as soon as we can. Thanks Jake! Will’s still designing that sleeve y’all talked about!

Old Friends

It was a strange thing for Will to tattoo the image of one of his childhood friends on her daughter. Melissa was one of Will’s sister’s good buddies growing up, though he hasn’t seen her in many years. So when her daughter showed up to get a portrait of her mom, well, nothing like a little pressure to liven things up!

“It’s always a bit more stress when you’re doing a portrait of a loved one, someone the clients sees everyday. Have to nail those.” Will is succinct in his explanation of the anxiety portrait artists face when when tattooing family members or close friends of clients as opposed to some celebrity or movie character.

Still, Destiny has portraits of her mother and father, as well as her two children, all expertly performed by Will. Never a better endorsement than another satisfied repeat customer!

Will is currently accepting appointments from new clients on a limited basis, in order to prevent long wait times and to allow him to finish existing pieces on his current clientele. Interested parties should visit the shop or fill out our ‘Set an Appointment’ form here on this website. Thanks for your interest and we look forward to hearing from you!

Universal Monsters!

Monsters are Universal, especially these! Universal Studios are the original purveyors of horror films, with classics like Dracula, Frankenstein, Bride of Frankenstein, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, and the Wolfman, all shown here, as performed by our portrait artist Will. We can’t say enough for the impact these original creature features had on the film industry, our imaginations, and pop culture even today! Combined with the expert craftsmanship of a veteran tattoo artist, these creatures come alive once again in the flesh of those who would be so honored to call them home.

We’re drawn to the strength and suffering of these monsters, as we see ourselves in them in so many ways. Outcasts, those who have lost their way, those on a path of regret, we fear the depths we might descend to and that’s why these creatures frighten and inure themselves to us. They seem to serve as both a punishment and a warning: ‘Beware the thing you fear so that it is not what you become.’

Join us at Lighthouse Tattoo in celebrating our love of these classic horror icons.

Mike Tyson vs. Roy Jones Jr.

This Saturday, November 28th, the exhibition match between 54 year-old Iron Mike Tyson and 51 yr-old Roy Jones Jr. will be taking place. it’s not really like anyone has anything better to do, you know? Hell, I’ve felt like I’ve been getting punched in the face for most of 2020, so how bad could it be?

Regardless of your leaning, or betting odds, we hope both of these legendary fighters make it through this upcoming fight healthy. This portrait was done for free as part of an exclusive promotional offer on our Instagram account. If you’re interested in such offers, go follow us on our Instagram @lighthouse_tattoos, or follow us on Facebook, where will be making more exclusive offers, but you must be a follow to win!

Update: Carbon Monoxide and Coronavirus Measures

Until next week, when our heat and A/C system is replaced, we will be using kerosene space heaters to knock any chill out of the room. If it is supposed to be especially chilly, or if you are going to have to be in an advanced state of undress during your appointment, you may want to go ahead and reschedule. Otherwise, we will do everything in our power to keep you comfortable during your appointment, as always.

Secondly, as the rate of new COVID-19 infections continues to rise, having remained above 70,000 new diagnosed cases per day for the last week now, we would like to inform our clients of our intention to close temporarily during this peak time, should the situation appear to become untenable. We have already seen the inability and unwilling of state and federal government to protect us. We have experienced first hand the inability of some of our clients to put others before themselves. It is our solemn promise to do what we can to protect the public whilst still trying to serve the same. Also, with schools and universities reopened and with Halloween being on Saturday this year, combined with the phenomenon known as pandemic fatigue, we expect that the number of Halloween parties will result in a spike of infections.

So: We will be drastically limiting access to the shop. We will remain open, but only to conduct remedial assistance with piercings and to conduct pre-scheduled business. No one else will be allowed into the building, and as usual, not without a mask. (We have masks on hand if you need one when you get here.)

It would appear that now is the time to really buckle down and practice social distancing. We encourage like-minded folks who already have an appointment to voluntarily reschedule, and if the situation does not improve within the next couple of weeks, we will shutdown all services indefinitely for the greater good. We hate to inconvenience anyone, but we just can’t see a workable alternative.

Hang in there, we’re all in this together, take care of yourselves. Remember to log on to lighthousetattoo.net to keep up-to-date!

Well, WE almost died!

You know how it is: first chilly day of fall, you cut on the gas heat, and get carbon monoxide poisoning. Happens every year, right? Well, this is what happened to us today. We have already put in a call to have the system replaced, which should be done early next week, and we plan on being open for business as normal tomorrow. We want to thank everyone for your patience and the good Lord for not calling us home on the express pass! Fortunately, no clients were affected and those of US that were managed to recover quickly despite a lingering headache. See y’all tomorrow!